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COMENSANewsletters - December 2010
08

By Lorraine Le Roux

Celebrate Life!
"I've told my children that when I die, to release balloons in the sky to celebrate that I graduated. For me, death is a graduation". Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Spades full of soft, red earth lands with a dull thud on the sunny yellow and white bouquet covering the casket below.

In the grey winter cold of Gauteng, a team of men are waiting for us to pay our last respects so that they can cover the grave and join a Fan Club nearby.

It is World Cup soccer time and nobody wants to miss the game! The celebrative spirit around us is in stark contrast with the atmosphere of mourning amongst us. Later, while having supper at the airport on our way home to Cape Town, we have no choice but to become part of the celebrations. For a while all activities slow down and there is collective support for our playing team. Together we cheer and together we share the disappointment when our team don't make it.

Up until two years before his death, my eighty three year old father was an enthusiastic rugby and soccer supporter who never missed a game on television. But pain and illness took its toll. Eventually he would simply follow the images on the screen without any real understanding. For him the game was over and he was waiting for the final whistle to blow.

In the weeks and months following his death I search for meaning. He suffered for many years and it was hard to see how a man, once big and strong, reverted to a helpless being who had to rely on others for even his most basic needs. It is said that the death of an elderly parent highlights ones own mortality and makes you look at your own life differently.


According to Victor Frankl, (Man's Search for Meaning) the quest for meaning is central to the human condition. Stronger than the drive for power, pleasure or survival, is the drive for meaning. Deep down we need to envision something greater beyond our daily existence: Something which may inspire us to endure under all circumstances.

Frankl refers to the "Defiant Power of the Human Spirit" when he talks about the ability of humans to "See with the soul" an ability which allows human beings to connect with their unique purpose and values.

As we enter the festive season, people are busier than ever: Deadlines have to be met before the holidays and somehow, somewhere, time has to be found for the many celebrations which mark this time of the year. Shops adorned with shiny tinsel invite consumers to spend. Advertising campaigns appeal to the emotional needs of buyers and encourage them to invest in products linked with happiness and fulfilment. It is a time of indulgence: In general, people spend, eat and drink too much.

Instead of the longed for message of peace and goodwill, news headlines report more crime, more violence, abuse and neglect.
Working with a group of women recently, two of them had family members who were victims of violence in one week and a third was talking about suicide because her circumstances were so overwhelming.

So what can I offer my clients that will bring consolation and hope to them?

As mortal beings the only certainty we have, is the fact that we are mortal. Frankl taught that each of us was given a special assignment to complete between the space of our birth and death. By raising my clients' awareness of their special roles I support them in seeing beyond adversity.

A person who understands that life is transitory, becomes open to the richness of meaning in all experiences.

"It is not the end of the physical body that should worry us. Rather, our concern must be to live while we we're alive - to release our inner selves from the spiritual death that comes with living behind a facade designed to conform to external definitions of who we are and what we are". - Elizabeth Kubler Ross.

As coaches we can help our clients to celebrate their lifes in a meaningful way.

Each client who comes to us is gifted in a unique and special way. Each client has a potential legacy to leave to the world.
Nobody knows for sure what the New Year will bring for us and our clients. On the 1st of January 2011 each of us will receive the same amount of days to invest regardless of our circumstances.

Lets celebrate the possibilities of human lives well lived!

About the Author:
Lorraine Le Roux (Grad. Cert. Coaching, (SACAP). BA Psych. (UNISA), Dip. Logo Therapy (UNISA)) works as support counsellor with women in destructive relationships and has spent many years in the weight-loss industry. She coaches women to live balanced and satisfying lives and is in the process of gathering material for a book about a very different approach to weight-management which is planned to be ready by the end of this year. She may be contacted as follows: www.focusonmeaning.co.za;
Email: lorraine@focusonwellness.co.za; Cell: 084 661 2479; Tel: 021 761 2479
 

Book Recommendation:

Title: I am Talent
Author: John Gatherer & Debbie Craig
Price: R180.00
ISBN: 9781869221645
Date published: 1 July 2010

This book will guide and assist you in exploring the following critical questions:

  • What are the drivers in the world of work?
  • What are your options to create value? (Chp 1)
  • How can you find out who you are, what you want and how to optimise your personal effectiveness for a fulfilling life? (Chp 2)
  • What are organisations looking for when they search for talent? (Chp 3)
  • How can you build your distinctive value and personal brand? (Chp 4)
  • How can you maximise your performance? (Chp 5)
  • How can you fast-track your development? (Chp 6)
  • What competencies are core to becoming the best you can be? (Chp 7)
  • How can you make the best career choices and make the most of transitions? (Chp 8)
  • The above prices include V.A.T.
 
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for publication in the COMENSAnews.
 
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